THE final party in an (almost) empty house, to give away everything that couldn’t be shipped.

We had drinks in plastic cups, appetizers on paper plates…

… and crisps served in a trifle bowl.

“Where did that come from?” I queried.

The packers had missed a cupboard-full of serving dishes.

MONDAY, 28 MARCH, 2011 – Adios, South Africa!

This was my last day in Johannesburg – which I had thought would be relaxed, peaceful and stress-free. My girlfriend Anna was coming at 12:00 noon with a pizza and a bottle of wine; the pets (Dithers and Daisy – two Jack Russells – and Jerry the cat) were due to be collected at 1:00; my suitcases were already packed for the ‘plane journey; and I expected to have the entire morning to casually put away my computer, say goodbye to the staff, and leave by 2:00 p.m.

Two days’ earlier, I had held a “Yours for the Taking” party, where I auctioned off all of the items that we couldn’t put in the container being shipped to Spain. It was then that I discovered an entire cupboard-full of casserole and serving dishes that both the packers and I had overlooked. So, on my (peaceful) Monday morning, and 10 days after the shipment had left our house, there was again the sound of wrapping and packing and tape-ripping.

I also met with the ‘big cheese’ of the moving company to confirm the loss of my Spanish mobile ‘phone (and SIM card), plus a wallet containing 40 Euros and my Spanish bank account card. (These two items were, I think, taken on the day that the container was loaded). I was able to contact Cristobal (our project manager in Spain) to put a stop on the bank card, and I hoped that I could get my previous SIM card mobile ‘phone number back once I was in Spain.

The pet-moving people didn’t arrive until nearly 2:00 p.m., and I could only confirm their tardiness by mobile ‘phone (my South African one), since our land-line was cut off at about 10:30 a.m. on Monday – which was 24 hours’ earlier than I had requested. In fact, I had put in the request the week before; and, the very next day, our ‘phone was no longer working. I called to Telkom to report that they had cut us off a week early, and was told that, no, it had not been cut off; it must be a fault on the line.

“Bit of a bloody coincidence, don’t you think?” I said. “I put in a cut-off request form yesterday, and now the ‘phone doesn’t work.” (Fortunately, I was reconnected that same day, but was still disconnected sooner than I’d asked).

By the time I made it to the Business Class lounge at O.R. Tambo International Airport, I was ready for all the free champagne I could lay my hands on.

The flight was brilliant; I was on the new A380, sitting upstairs with all the other Business Class plebeians. I didn’t even feel the take-off, and was so pleased that our pets’ first-ever flying experience (assuming/hoping they were somewhere beneath me on the same ‘plane) was so serene.

Kevin was waiting at Malaga airport for my arrival, with friend Paul (and his big van, which could accommodate the animal cages), and we went off to Customs to pick up Dithers, Daisy and Jerry. There was a long delay there, and a lot of discussion in Spanish about, “Well, it should be 60 days, and you’ve got only 30 days.” (The paperwork/injections schedule had been a nightmare), but we ended up getting all of them loaded into Paul’s van, and they cried for the next 90 minutes on the drive to Montejaque. I am pleased to report that they have all settled in, and are loving the Spanish sun and the long walks on which we take them, morning and night.

The last two weeks, since my arrival on March 29th, have been a whirlwind of activity.

The ITV (equivalent of the MOT in the UK; i.e. certification of soundness) was due on our Ford Ka by March 31st. We were told we had to make an appointment at the testing station. Our appointment was booked for 10 minutes after we arrived there. And the car passed with flying colours, hoorah! Then we went to Vodafone to see if I could re-activate my stolen Spanish mobile ‘phone number. Yes, no problem … and no charge. Then we went to the Ford dealer to get a second key for the car. Yes, no problem … done within 20 minutes and only seven Euros. (And everyone says that everything in Spain is manaña)!

The only manaña experience we have had was with the delivery of our IKEA kitchen for the new house. We went to IKEA on the Tuesday to order the cabinets and appliances, and were told they would be delivered to Montejaque on the Friday, sometime ‘during the day’ … and that the delivery people would call when they were near the village.

At 12:30, I got the telephone call: “This is IKEA.”

“Excellent!” I said.

“Not excellent,” he replied. “We have a problem with our lorry, and cannot deliver until tomorrow (Saturday).”

Never mind. It gave us the opportunity to go down to the new house, where I painted the kitchen walls and Kevin weeded the back ‘garden’ where we want to install a wooden deck.

The build-it-yourself kitchen arrived on Saturday afternoon, and was transported down to the house within an hour by the duper (mini-dumper) in three trips.

From Sunday morning until midday on Tuesday, Kevin and I put together cupboards, wall cabinets, chests of drawers, a carousel and a larder cupboard, and built the frames for the oven and microwave, plus a sink unit. After nearly 20 hours of working together with brackets, screwdrivers and wooden pegs, we knew for sure that IKEA is a four-letter word … along with the other expletives that we uttered!

On Wednesday, our friend Alan (a cabinet maker) came over to measure up for the counter-tops, plinths and cornices we need – which we then went to buy at IKEA on Thursday. These will be delivered on April 20th … after which, Alan and Kevin will start lining up the cabinets, and Alan will cut and install the countertops and hang all the cupboard doors.

Meanwhile, Cristobal’s team of three ladies are doing a fantastic job of painting the walls and ceilings. As soon as they’re finished, and have cleaned the house from top to bottom, the electrician will come to install light fittings. Then we just have to wait for our 40-foot container of furniture from South Africa, which is scheduled to arrive in Cadiz on May 1st, to be shipped to Algeciras a couple of days’ later, and to be trucked up to Montejaque on or around May 7th … by which time, Kevin will have returned to Johannesburg to work out his last month with Michelin; so I will co-ordinate the delivery and placement of the furniture, pictures, curtain rails, etc. in time for his return on May 26th. This is when I think we will officially move into the new house, as I am happy to stay at ‘Las Hormigas’ … and there is still a lot of work to be done here.

We have already spent two full days on ‘spring-cleaning’ the windows, ceiling fans and the floors behind the furniture, etc., as well as spending a day beautifying the outdoor patio area, buying and re-potting plants, window boxes and herbs. The weather has been fantastic since we arrived; we’ve had only one day of heavy rain in the last 20.

IS JACK A DULL BOY?

We have also found time to play …

We’ve been to a birthday party, had lunches, drinks and tapas with friends, enjoyed dinners at El Elefante Amarillo, and attended a book signing – the author, Tony Bishop, who also lives in Montejaque, has written a comprehensive guide to some 30 half-day walks in the area. (No, we haven’t had chance to go on any of them yet!)

I was also invited to attend the monthly GITs (Guadiaro Independent Traders) meeting, which was followed by a quiz night at El Gecko in Cortes … and our team won, knocking into second place the chap who had won all of the previous quiz nights! I hope Karl Smallman, Paul Whitelock, Stuart and Judy will join me again next month to defend our title.

I also hope there’s a question about the average length of time it takes to build an IKEA kitchen five-drawer cupboard, and how many four-letter expletives can be uttered in this period.

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Adios, South Africa! Hola, España!
Monday, 18 April 2011
THE final party in an (almost) empty house, to give away everything that couldn’t be shipped. We had drinks in plastic cups,...

© 2012 - Secret Andalucia - Guadiaro Valley, near Ronda

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